PostOS

Forget Linux, Forget Unix, Forget MacWhatever, forget Windows, and any other OS you may be using. Say hello to PostOS. PostOS is built on PostgreSQL technology and fits you like a glove.

The built-in planner watches you type (or stare in confusion) and creates a composite image of what kind of person you are and what behavior it should emulate. It's integrated monitor display and speakers are used to provide information as well as to watch and hear your every move. The built-in image recognition system (an extension to the PostGIS extension), can distinguish between members of your family and can impersonate them as well and change behavior accordingly.

If gesturing is your thing, not to worry, PostOS is a master at gesturing and can also gesture right back at you. You can signal commands from across the room, and have confirming winks to register your wish has been executed. PostOS is infinitely extensible, and many extensions are already available on PostOS PGXN repository.

Some extensions you might be interested in.

• bug_them_more_than_they_bug_you Will respond to phone messages such as sales calls and call them back every few hours with mindless chatter throwing in a few words they said in their last call.
• rock_a_baby Requires cradle cable. Babies are hard to fool, but Rock-A-baby with some expert training will learn to rock just as you do and make the same googly stupid impressions and noises you do at the baby. The baby won't be able to distinguish you from your PostOS system. WARNING: The baby might start to prefer the company of your PostOS system.
• what_should_I_wear Does deciding what garments to wear each day take up way too much of your time? No problem. This extension will decide for you. It will even check the weather to ensure you are appropriately dressed for the day.
• twit_4_me Like the idea of twittering, but don't have the patience for it. PostOS has you covered. It can even retwit and respond to comments from your friends, so they think you are engaged in their mindless banter.

As with all PostgreSQL extensions, PostOS extensions are simple to install. To install what_should_I_wear, simply do:

CREATE EXTENSION what_should_I_wear

You can also have the extension automatically install, by standing naked in front of the display panel.